Parents in the Wings: How to Back Your Young Dancer’s Body Confidence

Milly Best
5 days ago
3 min read

Content note: This article discusses body image in dance training but does not include weight, dieting, or eating disorder details.

Why parents matter

Behind every young dancer, there’s usually a parent or carer quietly helping: driving to class, sewing costumes, paying fees, and listening to the highs and lows. What parents say

at home can have as much impact on body confidence as what happens in the studio.

Research shows that family attitudes and language strongly influence how young people view their bodies (Rodgers et al., 2021). When parents emphasise function, effort, and

enjoyment, dancers are more likely to feel positive about themselves — even in a competitive environment.

As a psychotherapist working with dancers, I’ve seen the difference when home and studio messages align. Here are five everyday ways parents can support their child’s body

confidence.

1. Compliment function and feeling first

Instead of saying, “You looked lovely in that solo”, try, “You looked strong and musical.” Or, “I could see how much you enjoyed it.” Compliments that highlight what the body does or how the dancer feels build resilience.

2. Create mealtime talk that avoids body chat

Family meals are an opportunity for connection. Try talking about the day, music, or even the choreography your child is working on.

Avoid focusing on weight, calories, or appearance.

Why it helps: Studies suggest that reducing appearance- focused talk at mealtimes is linked to improved wellbeing in adolescents (Neumark-Sztainer, 2019).

3. Support sleep and recovery

It’s tempting to push through, especially before exams or shows. Encouraging adequate sleep and rest days gives the dancer’s body time to adapt and grow. Frame recovery as

part of training, not a break from it.

4. Social media hygiene

Encourage your dancer to follow accounts that celebrate diverse bodies, creativity, and artistry. If they notice a feed makes them feel worse, suggest an “unfollow detox.” You

might even do this together as a family challenge.

5. Help your dancer ask for what they need

Young dancers may not know how to speak up if a costume feels uncomfortable or a correction feels unhelpful. Practice short scripts at home:

- “This costume doesn’t feel secure; can we adjust it?”

- “Could you explain that correction another way?”

Role-play can help them feel more confident in class.

A script for tricky moments

Sometimes a dancer will say, “I hate how I look.” It can be hard for a parent to know what to reply. Try something like:

“I hear you. It sounds like you’re finding this hard.

Remember, your body is strong and helps you do amazing

things in dance. Let’s talk about what feels difficult.”

This acknowledges their feelings without agreeing with negative self-talk.

When to seek support

If worries about body image become constant or distressing, it’s important to seek help. Start with a trusted teacher, GP, or counsellor with experience in dance and young people.

Final thoughts

Parents may not be in the studio, but they are always in the wings. By choosing supportive language, modelling healthy habits, and being open to tricky conversations, you give

your dancer a foundation of confidence that lasts far beyond their training years.

Try this week:

Swap one appearance-based compliment for a function- based one, and notice your child’s reaction.

References

- Rodgers, R. F., et al. (2021). “Parental influences on body image and disordered eating in youth: A systematic review.”International Journal of Eating Disorders, 54(2), 190–210.

- Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2019). “Family meals and adolescent health.” Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior, 51(1), 3–5.